Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go

So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why

It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It’s something unpredictable

But in the end, it’s right

I hope you had the time of your life

• Good Riddance, Green Day

Several months ago, with the ending of a short relationship with a rough ending, I found myself angry at the fact that the guy involved weaponized my job against me. You just don’t mess with someone’s career. My reaction, however, was adaptive, and I spent my winter break angrily applying to a job and rewriting my CV and cover letter, ready to get out of this town.

I hadn’t given the application much thought as January turned into February. Still, in late February, I received an interview offer, and by mid-March, I had not only interviewed but – days later – been offered the job. Why this city? I honestly had only a few requirements in mind. Must be a real city (no more suburbs, please!), must be in a blue state, must have a flying trapeze school, and must have a better cost of living than where I currently live.

In the three weeks between the interview invitation and the job offer, I researched the pay, the job, and the city itself. When I interviewed and was offered the job, I knew I wanted to go. But how could I afford a move half the country’s length, especially with so much credit card debt? My co-worker told me about cashing out my retirement with a penalty, and, after doing some research, I was sold. I poured over a budget that allows me to maintain my current lifestyle with a few menial cuts, and live in a spacious one-bedroom apartment while saving money and getting out of debt.

I won’t go into the finer details, as taking out your retirement should not be the go-to for most. But I am young and can still retire in my 60s, all while starting over this summer. The move is planned. I’ve leased an apartment. I am ready to go.

So, why this city? Because I have a gut feeling about my direction in life, and this is the right direction. It doesn’t hurt that I just reread Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, which talks about trusting our gut and also relying on relevant information when making decisions. This is my gut telling me what to do: financially, emotionally, for my mental health, for my physical well-being, and so on. The facts tell me that it’s not only possible, but has many positive potentials for my direction in life.

My favorite counseling modality as a patient is Dialectical Behavior Therpay (DBT), brought to fruition by Dr. Marsha Linehan. Her memoir is called Building a Life Worth Living – and isn’t that what it’s all about and all we ever seek to do: to build a life worth living? While my family worries about me being without my safety net if I move away, I’ve lived far away before, and it was the happiest I’ve been in my life. I need my independence and autonomy, and I need to hold myself accountable. This is my next adventure and I’m excited to see where life takes me.

…She needs wide open spaces

Room to make her big mistakes

She needs new faces

She knows the high stakes

• Wide Open Spaces, The Dixie Chicks